Welcome Arian: A Journey into Motherhood
As many of you already know, I am now a mother to a beautiful and super cute baby boy, Arian Boocock! I never imagined loving being a mother so much. It is something I chose to really explore and choose for myself only in the last couple of years. What a ride it's been, and I have received so many gifts from this journey already. I got to be pregnant along with my best friend Maja with only a month apart, and we have been exploring together the type of mothers we want to be and very much being on the same page with our direction. Happy selfish super mommas! We both have boys, and Sara is now well on her way with a son to join the three musketeers. I couldn't have imagined a better scenario. I feel truly blessed by all the magic in my life. We had a big adventure getting here, and many beautiful gifts came out of it. About a month and a half before giving birth, I found out that I had gestational diabetes that resulted in having to be on bed rest, in Tarapoto on and off, and ready at any moment for a very possible preterm labor. I was a real trooper throughout and kept myself in good spirits as much as possible and even learned a new craft of macramé.
I got to be pregnant along with my best friend Maja
I also experienced a very beautiful level of vulnerability and the opportunity to fully allow myself to be taken care of. It really made me feel the love and support of my amazing family, especially Aura, who was super momma! The way she made me feel inspired me to want to make my kids feel as safe and held as she did for me. My man moved me beyond words, not only taking full responsibility for everything that was happening but making sure that it was as pleasant and as comfortable as possible. He was absolutely mythic! He was making all the decisions for me, and it also helped show me my resistance to fully surrendering and following his guidance. What an amazing exercise it was for me, and it is still a big intention I am holding to go as deep as possible with surrendering to my man.
We proudly made it all the way to full term with no problems, and it was a glorious moment. Giving birth to our son opened my heart in such a deep and profound way, not only to my son but to my man. My love and appreciation for him have quadrupled, and we now have this incredible creature as an expression of our love for whom we share an indescribable feeling of love. There is a deeper feeling of family with Arian in our life. It really made me feel how fulfilling it is to make it my priority to take care of my man, our home, and our little family. It's been a month now since being a mom, and it's a whole new world with my day-to-day life changing completely and every experience being lived for the first time. It can also be easy to mindfuck and to have a tendency to be in tension and anxiety. Just as it is harder to avoid your shit or be in bad energy when you are in a relationship, it is even more amplified with having a baby.
I'm finding it to be a super empowering experience because it really fucks with me more if I don't take care of myself and put myself first. It makes me lean on my man more when I need help, to be efficient with my time, and to be more aware of my energy and how I feel. The biggest motherfucker of all for me has been the feeling of guilt. I've seen many moms feel a lot of guilt to avoid being "bad" moms, so they lose themselves in motherhood and stop putting themselves, their marriage, and sex life as a priority. All these things start to create resentment inside, and then there is a feeling of guilt for being resentful towards taking care of your baby. I found myself feeling like this if I skipped going to my altar or having my morning routine to shower and make myself beautiful. It may not seem like a big deal, but it makes a big difference in how I feel.
Maja and I have been having the best time exploring motherhood and being in it together. It is such an empowering path, and it has inspired us to want to share everything we are learning with our argonaut mommas. Plus, it's way more fun to be in it together and have each other's backs. This new chapter has made me appreciate my family and our way of life in TierraMitica even more. We are sculpting a super cool nursing room to be painted for the Mythic Party, and then Sara will be the next mother to be with baby Victor. We are building Andy and Maja's house this year that will be right next to our house. Papa Bear is going to be the coolest grandpa our kids could ever have, and Aura the nanna is leading the charge in planning for the school we will be building for our kids in the near future. We dream of having summer camps where our Argonaut family can come and have our kids learn and play together. What a life and future we are building, and there is so much to look forward to!
