Mediocre or Mythic? An Invocation to a Dream
This is going to be a blog about the mythic. Stop reading now if you feel like hiding. God knows, I have done it for most of my life, so I know how you feel. But after all, like Lars sang all those years ago, all it takes is one choice. So, make a choice. Blue pill or red pill. There’s no going back.
So, let’s be real. How mythic are you actually being in your life? Really, if I sat down one on one with you and we opened up in total honesty, would you be able to say you are giving 100%? Would you be able to say that you could die today knowing you gave it everything? Probably not. After all there are so many nice tidy excuses to do less. Life is stressful, work is tiring, it’s too hot, it’s too cold, I’ll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes by the way. That’s the thing about the future, there’s always more of it where a better, more mythic version of you will pick up the slack for the you that’s willing to settle today.
Maybe you are like me, suffering from a life that is too good. My life is good. Like, REALLY good. I live in paradise where a ‘freezing’ day is 15 degrees (60 for you Americans out there), I am surrounded by open, caring and loving people, I have an amazing newborn boy who lights up when I enter the room. And don’t even get me started on my wife… perfection. I won the lottery in many ways in this life. I am pretty intelligent, more intelligent than most other people. My life is SO good! So why the fuck should I make extra effort to improve on THIS? There’s plenty of people out there with relatively shitty lives. They are the ones who need to get their shit together, surely! And if I can outmaneuver other people, I can always be on top, even if I’m only climbing other people’s hills instead of going for the mountain with my name on it. What’s wrong with that? Isn’t it nice to be the big fish in the pond? I always thought that it should be. Fuck knows I have gone for that for SO long in my life. The problem is, it doesn’t FEEL good.
When I watch Gladiator for the 15th time and it makes my blood boil for Russel Crowe’s character, or when I watch King Leonidas in The 300 stand against 100,000 Persians to protect his woman and children I feel something so fucking powerful that I know why I and every other man on this Earth is here. My son’s middle name is Maximus. This is a prophecy. Maximus is not a name, is a title given to the greatest generals. A mark of prowess and virtue. Someone who has risen above the ocean of mediocrity and become half man, half archetype. But if I am not Maximus, how can he ever be? He will be more than me, but he will stand on my shoulders. I will not stoop and lower us both.
I live in TierraMitica and I count my blessings. This place is truly paradise. It is a dream. It is Mikis’ dream. Or at least it has been. In the beginning I was content to be allowed to be a part of his dream. A place where we can explore the work and make art. A place where we make our schedule the way he has dreamed it. I love the way he has designed this life. I took shelter in it and enjoyed my little passions. D&D. Designing my relationship with Maja and growing it into something to be envied. Practicing trust and allowing the universe to reward my trust. Then something changed. I began to dream again, like I was a little kid. At first, I didn’t even allow myself to acknowledge that I was doing it, like I might jinx it. Don’t rock the boat that someone else built or I might fall out, but I dared to dream a little more every day all the same.
Imagine this. Me, Dorin and Leroy, trekking up to Candy Bar at 930pm on a Saturday night with flashlights and armfuls of shitty paper maps and laminated character sheets in the rain to play D&D for a few, exhausted hours at the end of a long work week. In a way it was glorious! In another way it was brutal. If you have never done concrete work, you cannot understand how hard it is to embody a character at midnight after days of carrying buckets of concrete! Fast forward to today and I am the Lord of a fucking castle! Not only the three of us band together each week but all the men come together in the most amazing gaming fortress on Earth, for six hours. Not in the dead of night but from 2pm, with every possible amazing tool, comfort, and glorious immersive detail. Loving, enthusiastic serving wenches bring us gourmet sandwiches every week and IT IS MINE! All of it!
How did I get all this? The answer is simple. HUBRIS. By daring to dream, even for a second, that it could be real. When we had our last Advanced workshop for the TierraMiticans, we did an exercise where we wrote our dream day down. The kind of exercise where you don’t have time to think. You just go. If you are too scared to dream, if you are too afraid that it might not be possible, it isn’t. I dreamed of a day where I have an event in TierraMitica with all my favorite D&D nerd influencers from YouTube here. In my dream we are all friends and they couldn’t imagine a year going by where they don’t come to Citadel Fury to be in the most incredible gaming space on Earth with me. I’m not there yet, but in February one of them will be here, running games and paving the way to MY dream. MY dream that is compatible with Mikis’ dream and the dreams of all the other TierraMiticans. It would be easy to stay under the umbrella of another man’s dream, after all it’s a pretty good one! But I tell you here and now, it’s not enough. Nobody is mythic living by another person’s standard, following another person’s dream. It’s my heart that knows if I am making myself proud, even if I can fool other people into thinking I am great. Weaving our mythic destinies together as family is glorious, but are you choosing to weave your threads with the mythic tapestry or are you just using it as a security blanket to hide under? It has taken me years to make a clear choice, hell it has taken me years to even see the choice right in front of me.
So what does the dream look like? Is it enough to have some nerd celebrities show up here once or twice a year and have some fun? I have a castle. Nobody else I have ever met has a castle. Is that enough? Hell no! I can dream WAY bigger than that! I can see a future where the people are coming not to play with other game masters, they are coming to play with ME! Where I get to do my favorite thing for days on end, weaving tales of wonder and excitement with other nerds who are excited to come and pay me to do it! I can dream of a future where Citadel Fury is just one of many gaming rooms we have built. Dotted across TierraMitica are totally different amazing spaces, a gothic cathedral for horror fantasy games, a moon base or starship for sci-fi, a fighting pit arena with the game table on the sand and amphitheater seating all around for spectators at our annual RPG festival! The most highly anticipated RPG event on the global calendar. Nobody wants to miss out on the event of the year, here with us in paradise. Of course, to cater to all these people and gaming spaces we will need to build a lot more accommodation! Pueblo Colorado will become an even more magical wonderland of sculptures and quirky accommodation to suit all kinds of people! All the TierraMiticans can be a part of the magic, dressing up and playing parts in live action side quests, Maja making super cool elf maiden outfits for all the girls to frolic around in, hosting people with flair in our epic style that nobody can beat!
What do you mean that it’s not enough though Andy? Does that mean you are dissatisfied with the life that you have? Do you need these things to be happy? No way! My life is amazing, like I said above. I am so grateful for that. I appreciate the little things every day and count my blessings while I dream of more. It’s not about the position, it’s about the direction. My position is awesome and that’s cool but what I care about is feeling the momentum of my direction. That is what makes me proud. To know that I am moving the ball forward and improving my life and the lives of my family. And I still make shitloads of mistakes. I still disappoint myself and have bad days. I still allow myself excuses now and then, sinking back into the swamp of mediocrity. But now I know why I will never choose to live in that swamp again. Because it feels GOOD. Because I will not go down like the decadent Roman empire did, wallowing in petty pleasures and a life without challenge. Maximus didn’t go out with a whimper, he went out with a bang. Taking on the whole fucking empire. So, what’s it going to be? Whimper, or bang?
